Historically, I would have started this narrative with something like “Sorry I’ve been absent” or “My apologies, I had to take some time away”. The reality is that my OCD got in the way of something I love to do… again. I set out to share my struggles and successes with OCD, Anorexia Nervosa, Bipolar II and Panic Disorder to help raise awareness, decrease stigmas and increase access to resources. Every day I write more of the story, seems simple. Unfortunately, my OCD weaseled its way in and has me doubting. “Am I remembering and relaying all of the details accurately?” “Are my posts free of spelling and grammar errors?” “Am I helping people?” “Do I have enough experience to be sharing my story and advocating for the mental health community?” The list goes on. This doubt causes anxiety and discomfort, so I rely on my number one compulsion… avoidance, hence, why I haven’t written in a month.
Today, I take the power back. Writing gives me happiness and joy, so I’m going to do it. I’m going to set my intention by committing to ten minutes a day. When I feel the urge to avoid, I’ll take that as my OCD giving me the opportunity to practice my skills, by resisting the compulsion and accepting the thoughts. So, “Did I disappoint my readers by not posting consistently?”, “Did I fail in my advocacy journey?”… maybe, maybe not. Wednesday, February 22, 2023 – Writing (10 mins) – Complete 🙂
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